Lost Coin Class Notes March 24, 2009

The Spring/Summer Utah Retreat will be held June 25th - 28th, at the Boulder
Mountain Lodge.   Please tell us if you are planning to attend and whether
or not you will be camping or staying in a room.  Lost Coin would like to
rent as many rooms as possible around the meditation space.  Plse tell us as
soon as possible.  The more rooms we rent, the fewer distractions we will
have in the meditation area etc.  The cost of the retreat will be comparable
to last year.  If you have not been to the BML before here is the link to
learn more:  http://www.boulder-utah.com/ - The weekend will most definitely
be worth the trip!   Non Lost Coin members are encouraged to participate. 

 

If you want to work/volunteer for Lost Coin please keep bugging Rebecca ie
please ask her constantly.  Eventually you will have a job/responsibility. 

 

We have more new Lost Coin members who do not live in SLC.  Discussion about
setting up Skype and laptops during our Tuesday meetings so that out of town
members can more fully participate in the meetings.  Skype sometimes drops
people, but if the person on the other end has enough bandwidth it should
not be a problem. 

 

Today there are fewer people so after the talk, we will have a free style
question and answer. 

 

The Blue Cliff Record is a book of Koans.  Today we will discuss two Koans,
not in depth but as a foundation to talk about something. 

 

One:

 

Bodi Dharma brought Zen from India to China.  At that time one did not mess
with the Emperor of China.  If one offended the Emperor of China there was
not a long trail but rather a hacking to pieces of the offender.  

 

One day the Emperor invited Bodi Dharma to see him.  The Emperor told Bodi
Dharma all he had done and he also asks him a question:  "What is the
highest meaning of the Holy Truths?"

 

Bodi Dharma was new in China and was very aware of competing religions to
Buddhism, Tao and Confucianism.  The Emperor embraced Buddhism and thought
Bodi Dharma is happy with him for this reason.  But Bodi Dharma did not
care.  It was similar to someone doing something or embracing something for
political reasons. 

 

Bodi Dharma answered the question by saying "vast emptiness, nothing holy".
The Emperor responded "Who is this standing before me, saying this?"  Bodi
Dharma responded "I don't know" and leaves.  

 

Three: 

 

Matsu of the Matsu Temple is unwell.  The equivalent of the superintendent
or prior of the temple asks the teacher how he is.  Matsu replies "Sun faced
Buddha, Moon Faced Buddha".  

 

Sun faced Buddha lives as long as the sun, thousands of years.  Moon faced
Buddha lives as long as the moon, a day or night. It does not matter if you
live for a million years, a thousand years or a day, it is all the same.
Time is not an issue.  

 

The student came to the teacher with an assumption, an understanding, and
the teacher took it away.  This happens all the time.  We assume we are
happy by knowing and understanding more.  It is OK to know but when are you
deeply happy and content?  Has knowing really helped you in your life?  Why
do we think knowing will work?  We think this because we do not like
ourselves.   It is not that it does not work to know more, it is just that
we don't work.  Our method of knowing does not work in that way.  It you
know more it is not necessarily better. 

 

Is it just as good to die at 33 as it is to die at 93? Is it so much better
to die at 93?  We do not know.  That changes everything.  We don't know if
we will be happier when we have more - this not knowing changes stuff.   The
Emperor was looking for the highest truth, building temples, he wanted to
know. The value of not knowing is very big.   We base our thoughts and
actions on what we know. 

 

D has lived this.  He never thought he would live past 33 because he was a
wild musician.  But he did live, he did survive and he does not know if it
is better or not.  Many musicians died early: Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison,
Miles Davis, John Coltrane etc.  We know they died early but is that bad? If
you live longer do you win? What is living 20 more years if you are worried
the whole time about getting old and dying.  

 

Not knowing is the only way out.  The only way to see life differently is to
not know.  

 

Eckhart Tolle has a new idea and we hold onto it for a month.  Then he has
another new idea and then later both ideas are gone.  You can hold not
knowing for a long time.  

 

Some know that when we die we will be dressed in white, living on a cloud,
playing the harp, eating marshmallows.  Is this good?  Some know that after
they die they will be resurrected and will live with their family eternally
- it will be like an eternal Christmas - is this good?  Others know that
some will live in flames forever.  Still others think we will be in a box in
the ground when we are dead.  But if we are in a box in the ground we are
not dead.  

 

What happens if we just say we really don't know what life and death are
about.  Tom Merton wrote The Palace of Nowhere.  We do not know where we
are.  Where is Utah?  Not anywhere.  Where is our world?  Nothing is around
it.  We are not anywhere. Our world is not a world. 

 

Not knowing is really what the practice is all about.  

 

Most of what we know is pretty negative anyway.  Not knowing is not
negative.  It is not new agey positive but it is not negative either.  There
is no need to be so positive - not knowing is a different space.  

 

We do not know what is most profound so we do not know a lot.  When we act
like we really know what makes us happy, remember that we do not know.  If
we knew we would do it.  If we do not know, we are in an empty space like a
child.  A child puts soap in his/her mouth and puts the soap down.  Then a
child puts a candy in its mouth and he/she keeps it.  

 

The only real open space is not knowing and the open space is what our
practice is about. 

 

OPEN DISCUSSION 

 

.        When I look forward I have negative emotions.  D responds by saying
that sometimes he does not want to run the group.  So he does something he
truly likes beforehand like walking the dog and then he finds the energy to
start the group.  Then by the end he enjoys the group.  

.        Some call the looking forward w/ negative emotions "mind f.ing".
Wake up and start to think about everything and you make your day bad.  If I
just wake up and go and meditate first thing or just go then am better off
than if I am in bed thinking.  It is the sitting in bed thinking that is
creates negative emotions. 

.        Do we all have this in common?  Is this reptilian?  D thinks that
yes some of this comes from evolution and genes and ideas but it is not
important.  Lizards do not say they do not want to hunt today and stay in
bed.  Lizards do not have Joie De Vivre or the Joy of Life.  

 

We do not find this sort of struggle/unhappiness in cultures w/o strong
religious cultures ie in Polynesia they historically had sex on the beach .
if there is a strong religious culture then we are taught we are bad.  We
are sinful if we do not control everything and if we are sinful then we go
to a place and burn after life.  Teaches subtle discontent in the eastern
world.  Nothing is good enough.  

 

Europe has become a little but religion free.  In Dusseldorf Germany people
drink beer every day.  Not necessarily hard liquor or too much beer but they
drink beer every day.  They used to go to Church on Sunday and then go to
the River to drink beer.  Later they realized they could sleep in, skip
church, and just drink beer. 

 

If you are prone to pleasing others and needing approval then you will
attract someone who needs control.  People often want to control us for
their benefit.  The emotional part is the fear, the fight or flight.  

 

QUESTION:  What gets you out of bed in the morning? This ties to the low
door.  Because of the Malaise in the morning while in bed thinking of our
day, we think there must be a low door, there must be something better.  D
says if you get to the other side, if you go through the low door then
someone has sold you a ticket.  

 

Think about how unusual it is to talk about all of this.  Lost Coiners talk
about stuff that others do not talk about.  No one talks about how they hate
their day. It is wonderful that we have such a great resource.  

 

What gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you live a day? 

 

.        Coffee, Sunday morning TV shows, the NYT, being alone w/ no
schedule, skiing, work to make money to pay bills so can sustain life and
train to fight, just knowing it is a new day gets me up in the morning,
doing my own thing, excited to get things done, get up for obligations,
music, grandkids, friends, family, no agenda, a day I can plan, activity,
get up for rewards, if get up earlier more time to be slow, to meditate and
do yoga - has improved overall quality of my day, work, accomplishing goals,
food, building something, creating something, being outdoors, go to work
later so have more time to meditate, walk, read the paper, 

.        D had to get up for so many years, 30 years, even though he is a
night person.  He does not like to get up early.  Now D mostly creates.  He
gets up and reads something related to what he is doing, he sits.  He cannot
say whether he likes it or not he is just used to it.  What he gets really
excited for is different.  He gets really excited to go to Spain or
California.  He loves to exploration through travel or on the computer or
with a book.  Sometimes wonders if what he is doing useful.  For many years
he faced  a day he didn't want to face.  The past couple of years have been
the first time he can really do what he wants.  He loves it but feels
displaced.  He likes the newness.  

.        Morning negative thoughts can be toxic.  

.        We all think those last two minutes of sleep are the most important
. can't let go of them. 

.        There are two sides to everything:  some people who have soo much
to do want to do nothing or want no schedule and those with a flexible
schedule and little plans want structure - more or less

 

Those who are more action oriented, perhaps athletic and "unintelligent"
seem to have an easier time in the morning.  Some of them might have an
easier time because their ancestors were Polynesian . even though someone
may not always be happy they may not think as much.  

 

Every year D has to go to a White Plum Conference.  Every year he dreads it
- but in the end he likes it.  He projects things onto the conference that
are not there.  Try to catch this and try to go into an empty space.  

 

If in bed ruminated about your day, you think you know - try not knowing,
not ruminating.  

 

Musicians often have sex and do drugs and the result is that they do not
think much.  They may be happy but they are not healthy.   Miles Davis
roomed with Charlie Parker.  Miles was from a middle class family and
Charlie was from the streets.  One day Charlie and Miles were in a limo or
some larger car.  Charlie was drinking, doing drugs, groping his female
friend and eating fried chicken.  Miles looked at him disapprovingly.
Charlie said "I'm happy - if you don't like it, look out the other window". 

 

Reading the NYT is not overly intellectual and not ruminating - it is
exploring others people's thoughts and it is OK.  

 

If you sit and think about the past and the future then you are probably
unhappy.  If you are doing what you like you are OK.  

 

We have come full circle - Lost Coin is a contemporary teaching of Zen.  In
the 8th Century knowing was not the way.  In Contemporary teaching knowing
is not the way, knowing everything does not make people happy because it is
mechanical knowing.  None of the ruminating that you do is important to us
or to others when you die.  

 

Institutionalized religion gives us the impression that what you do is
important.  What if it is not important.  If not important then you should
do what you want.  When let go of knowing see the world differently.  What
you do is important because you are the Deity.  

 

Sometimes you do what you think you have to do but realize not have too.  Be
a witness to your thoughts.  Notice negative thoughts - do not try to change
them, just notice them.  Our homework is to notice negative thoughts and see
how or if they are running our lives.  Try to be OK w/ your negative
thoughts, don't resist them, see them , don't change them.  If you can
become aware of your negative thoughts your life will change.  Are you doing
what you want? 

 

Context will ebb and flow - if you work you might love unstructured free
time, if you don't work you love structure.  Thoughts ebb and flow in any
given moment.  There is no reason to be happy or sad. We are free to create
what we want. 

 

Darkness and seasons make a difference re: negative thoughts. 

 

Anyone of us can get on a plane and go to Hilo and never come back.  The
only thing that stops us is our internal stuff.  Try changing your routine.
Move closer to doing the things that give you pleasure.  Don't be tied to
should or have to.  Don't be tied to the idea that you have to feel bad
about yourself.  You will not get much better so save yourself the trouble. 

 

There were two monks in the forest.  One is standing up and the other is
sitting.  The standing monk asks the sitting monk "what are you doing"?  The
sitting monk replies "Sitting to be Buddha".  The standing monk rubs two
stones together.  The sitting monk asks "What are you doing"?  The standing
monk replies "turning stones into gold".  The sitting monk replies "You
can't do that".  The standing monk replies "You can't change into the
awakened one, you are already one". 

 

Do and develop because you love it not because you feel guilty or because
you feel you should.  

 

Knowing is not the truth, wisdom is not Tao, not the way.  

 

David Foster Wallace thought he had a leg up on people because he thought he
knew more than he did - but in the end he realized that was not the case.  

 

Don't do things for posterity - who cares? 

 

The planet will most likely explode someday.  

 

Have a good time, the pressure is off!

